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Friday, 6 July 2012

First Break-up

Physics and Chemistry between me and Anamika were good. We were in love. I was in love. I was spellbound by her beauty. I was no longer a nerd. Whenever I left my house, I used to check myself in the mirror so that I looked the best I could. My cutest best. My life had changed completely and it showed on the chemistry grades.

We used to spend a lot of time together. I used to help with her studies. Stupid conversations, Coffee, Make-out sessions, My first relationship was perfect. There was just one rule, No fighting. Whenever we had an argument, we used to kiss it goodbye. The best thing was that we never told how much we loved each other. "Relationships don't make sense. Especially from the outside". That is exactly how it was.

It had been 2 months and there was just one thing, one question that was bothering me all the while. Why me ? I mean, She was damn hot, I was not. She had a social network of a page 3 celebrity, I just had her. She could lay a finger on any guy and he would be hers. And she had ample amount of attention from popular and handsome guys. She could get anyone. So why me ? But i didn't have the balls to ask her this. Who knows, It might set her off. I did not want to lose her. I could not afford to lose her.

The question troubled me a lot, and i was desperate to find the answer. It was Orkut era, and I checked her relationship status, It said "Committed". It felt awesome. I went through her profile, there were a lot of pictures of her with guy friends, I was absent. I was confused. I confronted her, and she kissed me. I knew, we were not supposed to talk about it, but I wanted an answer. She said, I could put up our pic. But that was not the answer i was looking for. I pressed hard and it pissed her off. She left. I waited for my chemistry classes to end. I went up to a friend of hers, and asked if  Anamika had a boyfriend. I knew she'd know. I didn't expect any names, because I knew, she was secretive about our venture. "Some guy, i don't know about". That was my cue that it was me. She confirmed, It wasn't me. Some other guy form our physics classes. The most popular guy around. The guy that was in most of her pictures on the social networking site. I was hurt. Tears rolled down my eyes. I went back home and spent the night thinking about it.

I wanted some answers. Chemistry classes had started, she was late. I waited for her in the parking lot. She finally turned up, an hour late. It didn't help my frustration. I saw her. Flawless, Elegant, Cute, Hot, Angel. Wtf dude, focus. I resisted my mind to wander off. I held her hand. Tears rolled down my eyes again. She was confused. I asked her, Do you love me ? She paused. She so fucking paused. I smiled. I told her what was going in my mind since last couple of days. She was scared. I started talking about that guy. She was sweating. I asked her, if she was okay ? She smiled. Fake smile. I knew her real smile, the smile that I could die for. That wasn't it. Finally I said it out loud. You fucking double dated me ? She was taken aback. I didn't care anymore. But I tried not to lose my cool. I just wanted her to confess, and she did. Tears Rolled down again. I got up and started walking. She held my hand, but I forced my way out of her fist and went to the Chemistry class.

My cellphone beeped. It was her. "Let's still be friends" (things that are never true in a breakup, but you have to say). I didn't care to reply her. I was hurt. I had my self-respect. It was awkward to see her in my Physics classes for the rest of the year. Next year I changed my batch. And I never saw her again. I got a couple of messages and I ignored them. I just replied her once "How can I be reasonable ? To me our love was everything and you were my whole life. It is not pleasant to realize that to you it was only an episode."

That was it, My First Breakup

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