Liverpool and United - An Unexpected Friendship

It’s funny how small the world can be and especially in the age of social networking world of Facebook and Twitter. Me and Adi were huge fans of a Twitter handle Evil Kagawa who posts some hilarious tweets about Manchester United and Football in general. We loved it even more as we hate the club. And from extreme sense of boredom and unemployment, I decided to introduce the tweets from the twitter handle to the Facebook world.

As time passed by the page grew more and more and apparently it now has over 15,000 likes and the response it is getting is just amazing. We get a lot of private messages  regarding our identities, as in who is the person that handles the account. I personally do not respond to the same, however an interesting message popped up one day from a cute girl (Indian, which was even more surprising), who was a huge fan of the page. I just couldn’t resist responding to her. She had this raw cuteness about whatever she said. Having said that she behaved mature than her age around me. A huge David Beckham fan and she has all the posters of him and Cristiano Ronaldo in her room. Whenever I talk to her, I remember the girl from Bend It Like Beckham and the same passion often reflects in her. And as I got to know her more and better, we had a lot more in common than I initially thought.

Anmol, that’s her name. Here’s her story :

I threw my stuff on to the couch and rushed to my computer the moment I stepped into the house. I sat down and waited for the screen to come alive. I drummed my fingers impatiently on the table. I wasn’t exactly the epitome of patience at the moment. Finally my PC decided to have pity on me and wheezed awake. I opened Google Chrome as fast as I could and typed the URL – chintanpandit108.blogspot.com – my favourite blog…

Maybe the preference had something to do with the fact that the things he wrote really felt realistic and they were something I could relate with easily. Reading and writing were what I did best. I spent so much time reading and writing that it didn’t even seem like something to do anymore. It was so natural, just like breathing. And the fact that the person writing the blog wasn’t someone super famous but just a regular guy from a regular Indian family trying to bring out the writer in himself – that was just closer to me than I could say. Or maybe it was just the fact that he wrote well…

Anyway, coming back to reality, I waited eagerly as the page loaded. Aaaannd… No new updates. It had been so long now. It felt like forever. I felt like throwing knives at someone. I cursed loudly at the screen. Great. Talking to inanimate objects. Not exactly the biggest sign of sanity. I just decided to cool off a little before the inanimate objects started talking back. I sauntered off to my bedroom, feeling dejected once again. Then worried. What was wrong? There had to be a reason behind the recent elusiveness, right? Too many questions. My head felt like it was spinning. I felt really confused. Why did I even care? Was it just the fact that I really liked reading the entries on the blog? No, that couldn’t be it.

It’s just kind of strange how you can feel closer to someone you’ve never even met and technically don’t even know, than the people who are right next you. Maybe it’s got nothing to do with distance after all. Maybe it’s just how well you understand what it’s like to be in the other person’s shoes. And I’ve never claimed to know someone well enough to be able to judge them, but maybe just well enough to know them without actually knowing them. Could that even happen? Ugh. Why was I plaguing myself with questions and torturing my mind further this way? I just buried my face in the pillows and muttered, “God. I’m so lost that I feel like I’m in a maze.”

Confusion and clutter are the failure of design, not the attributes of information. But where was the information?

Once - a mistake.. Twice - a.....

MORON. She might have thought as she disconnected the call. Anyone else would be worried about it, but I was kind of satisfied. I had a smile on my face, even-though I just had a lame ass conversation with her. I knew, that probably, she wouldn't talk to me ever again. And I wasn't worried about it at all. The same situation happened two years back and I fell for her. This was the same situation, with the same girl, and I was well aware of the consequences. While I was talking to her, the incidents and her behaviour from a month back started replaying in my mind.

One Month Back :

I was having a family time with my parents. Now "The Family Time" generally involved watching a daily soap with mom and dad. I toyed with my cellphone as Priya Kapoor shed a bucket full of glycerin tears for a rich fat guy in Bade Acche Lagte Hain. Now if you ever come across this daily soap, you would realize that the pun was totally intended while finalizing the title and the lead characters of the soap. It cracks me up every single time. Oh yes, "The Bigger, The Better".

Cell phone ringing : Shruti Calling. The smile widened on my face, as her name flashed on the screen. But it was a confusing one, because she called me for the first time in last two years. I answered it and a tiny sob from the other side greeted me.

"Hello" I greeted her being as polite as I could.
"Mmmmmm" her sobbing continued.
"What happened, Shruti ?"
"I had a fight with him two days back. Haven't talked with him since then. He too hasn't called" She was referring to her boyfriend.
"He'll call. Everything would be alright. These sort of things happen in a relationship, right ?" I tried to consolidate her.
"And even if he doesn't, you still have Aaditya Roy Kapoor waiting for you" I continued. It cracked her up. Whenever some one smiles or giggles while crying, I find that to be the cutest moment. And I managed to make that happen.
"Listen, don't cry. He'll call and everything would be alright."
"Mmmmm, Thank you" She said, her voice still shaky !
"I need to go now. Take Care. And stop crying" I said as I disconnected the call.

She texted me regularly from that day onwards and I thought that our friendship was getting back on track. Because ever-since I broke up with Arpita (She and Shruti were best friends), our friendship had been a bit rocky. We talked once or twice a month and that too only via Facebook. We were growing apart. As it turned out, they eventually patched it up in a day or two. And I was again the same, just another friend for her.

18th May 2013 :

Today, exactly a month later, I again get the same call, from the same girl and more or less the same reason. This time around, her guy hadn't called her for two days and she was paranoid that he would eventually dump her. I tried to consolidate her, again. But with a little less conviction this time around. I had gone through this thing with her twice in the past already. And all I ever get is a rub on my hair saying see ya around boy. I just played along, but honestly I didn't give a fuck about it anymore.

I mean, she seriously thought that I was dumb not to understand her this kind of a behaviour ? I had been her best friend for as long as I could remember. I always helped her whenever she needed me. I mean, no one can come and leave from my life whenever they feel like. Was I supposed to fall for it yet again ? Well, I very well knew what was coming up ahead for me and I ducked it. She might not have done it intentionally, but "Chutiya samjha hai kya !" (You think I am a Moron ?)

If Only....

11th May 2013 :

I was in the elevator, climbing to the 4th floor. I had a feeling of anxiety, restlessness. Had an urge to see that asshole. I screamed inside my head, "I leave him for one day, one fucking day. And he ends up in a hospital". As the elevator door opened, I rushed to the reception and a lady attended me.

"Room no. 415, Aditya Patel" I inquired at the desk.
"Right of the desk, first door on your left, third bed" She directed me towards the room.

I thanked her and rushed towards the room. My steps slowed down as I entered the room. His mom greeted me with a smile. But the sadness in her smile was pretty evident. I saw him, lying on his bed. his forehead bandaged, belt around his right arm and traction attached to his right knee. He greeted me with a regretting smile.

Two days earlier :

I had just arrived at Ambaji (Religious hill-station). Cell phones weren't allowed inside the temple. So I had left mine in the hotel room. I felt blessed in the goddess's presence. I thanked her for everything I had ever achieved in my life, and for giving me enough courage to go through tough times. I came back to the hotel room and switched on the lights. I checked my cell phone and was quite surprised to see 3 missed calls and a couple of text messages from most of my close friends. One of them being Aashi. Now that was surprising because she never calls. We mostly communicate via Whatsapp. Her text said "Call me asap". I texted her back asking what was the urgency. She said, that she would call.

Phone ringing : Aashi Calling. I answered it.

"Dude, you got the message ? Did you talk to Adi ?" She asked me
"What message ? What happened ? I saw his missed call." I was getting worried, sensing the same in her voice.
"He had an accident. He and four others are admitted in Sterling hospital" She said.

I was shocked. I mean I had met them all just a day before and now this. I asked her the details, and she gave me a thorough report. I tried calling him up, but the call didn't go through. Fucking network problem. I wished I could go see them. I was frustrated, because I was pretty far away from Baroda and with my family. The injuries were severe, but weren't fatal. I couldn't sleep that night. And I decided to go see him as soon as I reach back home. And I did. I sat there and we talked about the whole incident, cracked jokes and had a good time as usual. I left the hospital as soon as the visiting time ended. I wished I was with them, that night. I could have prevented all this from happening. I would've at least asked them to slow down. IF ONLY, I could do something. Anything.

Sometimes the slightest things change the directions of our lives, the merest breath of circumstance, a random moment that connects like a meteorite striking the earth. Lives have swiveled and changed directions. I believe there is no such thing as luck or fate, it's God's perfect plan. Trust me if there is anything like fate, it doesn't care most of the time.

Aditya Patel

Darkness all around as I lay there in the bed. Surprisingly, I found it hard to get some sleep this time around, I sleep like a baby otherwise. I was calm, felt a lot satisfied. I wondered whether i felt that because I was celebrating my graduation or I was away from my family after a really long time. I got up and headed for the washroom. While I was in there, I heard a melodic tune playing in my room. I entered the room and made myself comfortable on the left side of the twin bed in the room.

Mann Mera from Table No. 21 playing.
As the song went on, I really felt connected to the lyrics of the song. It was like the song was written for me. The thoughts of my times spent with each and every girl from my past relationships occupied my head. More than anyone else, I was reminded of Arpita. A faint smile, almost a blush, wiped across my face. Her face, ever-so-soothing smile, her magical touch, her...!

"Dude, I am crying." He said as he pushed my shoulder, breaking a chain of my beautiful thoughts.
"What ? Why ?" I said, partially cursing him for getting me out of my dreamland and partially out of utter shock. Shocked not because a fully grown man was crying in front of me, but because he was. Which he never does, I could never imagine him expressing this emotion.
"What happened ?" I asked him out of sheer surprise.
"Nothing. Just missing my girl a lot." he said with a weak voice wrapped in tiny sobs.

Now this would be really surprising for 99 percent of the people who knew him closely, but not for me. Not because I knew him more closely than most of his friends. But because I knew how sloshed he was at that time. 7 pints of Budweiser was speaking now. But having said that, I also knew how much he loved her.

"Stop behaving like a girl, dude. I know how much you love her." I said that trying to lighten up the mood and also making sure I don't hurt his feelings. Guys hardly express their feelings in-front of his mates.
"If I am going to marry anyone, I want it to be her." he said that as he broke down completely.

Having seen him in this state, and after listening to his 15 minutes of continuous whining about everything from his girl to his family, I decided to text his girlfriend and asked her to call him up as soon as possible.
She eventually did and I had to listen to the whole conversation. He was really honest about whatever he said to her. And I hate to admit, but it made my eyes wet too.

He ended his call and the songs started playing again. I got up and got the ash-tray. I asked him to light one up and calm down. We sat there hurting ourselves to overcome our pains and forget them. Talking about what we went through in the last 6-8 months. He asked me if I ever think of Arpita. Listening to her name broke me from the inside and I too started weeping, but I controlled myself.

We ended up joking about what we did in the last hour or so. And started blaming each other for the girl-like session we just had. I switched off the lights and lay myself back in the heart-melting thoughts of her. All the hate I had managed to gather against her (and I had done that just to make me forget her, I never really hated her) vanished away in a matter of few hours. That's when I realized how lonely I felt. Atleast, he had someone to talk to in his weakest moment. I didn't have anyone.

That's when I heard a manly voice from the other bed, "Bhen di taki beer da kamal hai, sab bahar aa gaya" ("This is all beer's fault, everything came out", Amir Khan's dialogue from Rang De Basanti). And me and my best buddy Aditya burst into laughter. 

Sweet Surprise

20th February 2013 :

Rock 'N' Roll Train by AC/DC playing
My eyes still closed but I started humming with Brian Johnson. A bright golden light shimmered across my face, widening up my eyes. I jumped up from my bed and freshened up. I made a cup of coffee for myself and put on the music. Long Long Way From Home by Foreigner. I sat on the couch sipping my coffee and reading the newspaper. I happen to read through the Zodiac section and the daily horoscope said something like this - "LEO : The day brings you a lot of surprises."

I chuckled as I got up. I was like yeah, surprises, right. I had been living a monotonous life for the past six months. It was all so predictable that a penny on the road would surprise me. I met the same set of people everyday, watched the same shows, listened to the same music. I knew who would text me at what time. It was fucking horrible. I went back to my room and started working out. This time i played Eye of The Tiger by Survivor. Yes, the soundtrack from Rocky movie series ! Well, I am no Sylvester Stallone, but keeping fit doesn't hurt, does it ? Ever-since I started working out, I feel rejuvenated. I am in a cheerful mood all day. I feel stronger, more confident.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I've started helping out my father in his business. Well, today out of no-where, he came up to me and handed me a pay-check. It wasn't much, but was enough to help me last a couple of weeks.

Take a Look Around by Limp Bizkit playing
I stood near the counter of Havmor, Sayajigunj with my headphones on, waiting for my take-away order to arrive. I ordered ice-creams for my folks as a treat for my first pay-check. I collected my order and started walking towards the parking lot. That's when I saw her. Our eyes met for a brief moment as we crossed each other. She smiled as she put away a lock of her hair behind her right ear as she broke the eye contact.

I froze, my feet literally grounded. I slowly turned around to check her out. I saw her turning around as well with a smile on her face. We saw each other. My jaw dropped, eyes popped out, heart started pumping as fast as a piston on full throttle. She smiled as she started walking towards me. I was still shocked. Stunned by her breath-taking beauty. A beautiful face, dreamy eyes, sharp nose, dimpled cheeks, pointed chin, a bit taller than the last time I saw her. Or was it her high heels ? Her hair straightened, falling on either side of her shoulders. She came close and chuckled as she closed my wide open mouth. We hugged. Oh My God ! It felt like a 10000 Watts of electricity zzaapped through my body.

"Chintan Pandit". She said in her soft voice as we broke our embrace.
"Hey ! You got even hotter."
"Well, that's how you greet some-one you meet after a long time ?"
"Nah. Usually I slit their throats and bury them in my backyard." I said in a serious tone.
She was shocked, stunned out of her brains. Smile wiped right off her face.
"Sorry, I crack jokes when I am nervous." I apologized.
"Chandler Bing ? Seriously ?"
We both burst into laughter at the same time.
"Oh ! I've missed you so much." She said as she squeezed me.
"How did I get so lucky ?" I smirked.
"Well, you are the only guy to have ever dumped me." She said making a sad face.
"Oh ! I regret it now, alright"
"I bet, you do. But you know what ? Here's my number. Call me some time." She said as she held my hand and wrote her number on my palm.
"It was great seeing you, Chintan." She continued as she pecked my cheek.
"Pleasure was all mine. Take care." I said as we parted.

I continued walking towards the parking lot. I caressed the cheek and screamed out loud in my head.
"ANAMIKA GOT HOT"

Friends And Family

So, its been quite a while since I last updated. Well ! Two months and eleven days to be precise. And there have been a lot of things going on in my life. So, to start with, I am completely over Arpita. Yes, Finally ! Actually that is the reason for me not updating since a long time. Before I started this blog, I used to miss her a bit. And I thought expressing my feelings would help me, but to be quite honest, it didn't. It only worsened my situation.

I relived my time with her when I wrote about her (Not literally Re-lived, but figuratively speaking) and that made me go through a slight trauma. A constant urge to talk to her, sleepless nights, occasional tears and a real sense of feeling gutted. And I thought that the best way to overcome this was to distance myself from this blog. But, here I am, back again. Rejuvenated, confident and feeling better than ever.

As far as my professional life goes, it sucks ! For the time being, I help out my father in his business when-ever required. I wanted to keep learning some or the other thing, so with fair share of guidance from Suraj Jiju and Darshna Didi - whom I owe a big thank you, for whatever I am today - I have started an IT course at NIIT.

Darshna Didi has had an immense influence in my life in terms of my education and character buildup. She has been a mother figure for me since the day I came in this world. She made me learn my first words, and even after all this years I keep learning from her about different aspects of life. Even I am blogging today is a fair credit to her. I first learned about blogging from her and later Aashi provided the final push. She is my aunt, sister, guide, emergency helpline, a best friend, anything and everything. I know she might be reading this and I just want to thank her for everything.

Suraj Jiju - Love of Darshna Di's life, married now for 15 years - on the other hand is one Jem of a person. Their love story has been one of the best I have come across in real life. They were together for almost around 10 years before they got married. And I just respect jiju for the commitment he has shown even now after their 25 years together. Something I don't think I can ever do, but who knows. And whenever I face a dead end in any of my relationships, they are the first ones I look forward to for advice. At this point of time, they are blessed with two beautiful daughters.

He has been by far the best friend I ever had in my family, even closer than Darshna Di. And another guy who has joined us is Vishal Jiju. He is married to my elder sibling, Payal. He too, just like Suraj Jiju, has come into the family and looked like he's been here forever. They had their first wedding anniversary on 29th of November and they still look so cute, made-for-each-other types and adorable together. I just wish the two couples, best in their lives.

And secretly hoping that I too can find "the love of my life". The one that completes me. The one that makes people around us go all "Awwwwwwww ! They look so cute together, so made-for-each-other types". Till than I am single and just concentrating on my professional life. Sometimes people think if they're single no one can hurt them. But being single and thinking about memories can kill you. But I like it. I like starting each day with a sense of possibility. And I am optimistic because everyday I get a little more desperate, and desperate situations yield the quickest results. Well ! Its better to be single and loving it than to be taken and struggling.

It All Came Crumbling Down

In just about a month or two, she had become an integral part of my life. She had influenced my life immensely. I was becoming the best of myself. The relationship that we shared was very very special to me. I shared my frustration, my feelings and my secrets. We were best friends. Friends who liked each other. But we did all those things that a deeply-in-love couple would do. We shared food, searched for a deserted, quite place to talk, spent hours on late night calls. But it didn't last long. Never did I thought that it all would end so easily. All that I had done, the better man I had become, wouldn't matter to her. Maybe it was my fault, maybe it was her.

7th March 2012 :

Three days back. I was talking to Keya on Facebook chat. Out of no-where tagged a page on my timeline saying "HI". I replied her with another tagged page and it went on for an hour or so. Today, Arpita checked out my profile and saw the whole silly conversation with Keya. She interpreted that I was flirting with her, which she didn't like. She texted me, saying that I was never going to change. I called her up. She didn't pick up. I replied her, explaining that it was nothing like that. Me and Keya had become very good close friends (Just Friends). She didn't reply back. I waited. No reply for a good 3-4 hours. I called her up again. She didn't pick up. I kept calling again and again until she finally answered, the 61st time.

"What happened, babu ?" I asked. My voice filled with love.
"I don't want to talk." she was pissed off.
"Arre, I am not lying, I was not flirting with her. I swear" I justified my self.
"You are never going to change. Maybe, you were just pretending all this time." She was getting rude now.
"Babu, I swear on my Mumma. I was not flirting with her. This is just the way we are. And if I wanted to flirt,
why would I do it so publicly (on my timeline), I could do it more privately (In my chat box)."
"Maybe, you do that as well. God knows."
"Acha, you can check out my chat history. You have my password." I said as calm as I could be.
"I don't want to. And you can do anything you like. Not that I am your girl-friend. And as such, we're never getting into a relationship. So you're free to do whatever you want." Her cold words, hurt me like hell.
"Why are you saying all this?" My voice now shaky and eyes wet.
"I don't want to talk. Please don't call me from now." She said getting frustrated.
"So this is it? You are going to end it all, on basis of a silly Facebook post. That undermines everything we have gone through? Everything we have shared? Everything I have done? All of that, Gone? Just like that?" A tear rolled down my eye.
"You don't have to make me count, what all you have done or not. But it doesn't matter anyways. You don't have to do anything for me. As I said, nothing is ever going to happen between us." She sounded stubborn.
"I am sorry if you felt that I was flirting. But I had no intentions like that." I still begged for one last chance. I just couldn't imagine my life without her. I loved her, more than anything in my life. She was my life. I didn't wanted to lose her.
"I don't care. Can I please put my phone down?" It seemed like she wasn't saying all this out of anger. It seemed she really didn't care.
"Appy, you don't care if I am in your life or not?" I asked (still being calm).
"No."
"You don't?" I was taken aback. Stunned.
"No, I don't. Now I don't want to talk to you. I am putting the phone down." Her every word pierced like a dart in my heart.
"No listen to me first. You know what? After all that I did for you, you don't care if I am there in your life or not? I haven't smoked or touched alcohol since the day I promised you. I stopped flirting. Hell, I even stopped talking to most of my female friends to avoid the confusion. Just a silly wall-post and you want to end it all? Then, I guess you don't deserve me. You don't deserve a guy like me." I was frustrated. I was angry. I just couldn't take any more of her hurtful words.
"I never knew, you could also say all those words." She seemed calm now. I guess my words hurt her as well.
"Yeah. I still love you. But when you say all that you just said. It hurts me as well." I said as I cut the phone.

As I pressed the red button on the right hand side of my cellphone, I fell on the sofa. Held my head with my hands, covering my face. All my anger was changed into grief. It felt like someone had ripped my heart out. All those special moments spent with her, especially the day spent with her just seven days back, flashed right in front of my eyes. Her face, the twitches it made, the three dimples on her face, her cute-childlike smile, especially the warmth of her hug. I wept like a baby.

That was the day everything ended. The love of my life, the girl I loved more than my life went away from me. We met once though, some days later. Just for an hour. She was smiling. I brought her chocolates. A snicker and a dairy-milk, her poison. But, she spent 15 minutes on call with some other guy. It made clear to me, that she had moved on. I still asked her to come back. She refused. Everything came crumbling down. I was crushed.  That was the last time I ever heard her voice or I saw her face.

I came home. Washed my face. Sat down at my study table. Opened my drawer. Took out my diary. I jot down the following words - "This is not a good-bye, my darling, this is a thank-you. Thank you for coming into my life and giving me joy, thank you for loving me and receiving my love in return. Thank you for the memories I will cherish forever. But most of all, thank you for showing me that there will come a time when I can eventually let you go."

Seven months hence. I am completely over her. It was hard, but I managed somehow. But today I've got a little confession to make to all of you. I some where knew that she wanted to leave me, and I make it easier for people to leave by making them hate me a little.